Common Family Disputes and How to Resolve Them
28 Nov 2019
Family life can be complicated. As the saying goes, ‘you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.’ Tensions can run deep in families. Resentments can even pass over from generation to generation. Family problems are a common occurrence in life, but that doesn’t make them any less upsetting.
Relatives are the people that you are bound to by DNA and a shared past. This close connection is what makes it so painful when conflict arises. Families can become divided when members take sides against each other. This can take a considerable toll on the family unit and cause immense distress.
Being at the centre of a family dispute is a position that no one wants to find themselves in. However, conflict can arise all too quickly and can cause irreparable damage to the family as a whole.
Money is divisive at the best of times, but money and family combined can cause significant issues. Loans between family members are a common cause of conflict. Asking a family member for money is something that puts both parties in an awkward situation. If a family member has asked you for a loan, you will need to think carefully before lending them money. It is perfectly reasonable to put together a repayment plan and to work out between you a timescale for the repayments to be made. To avoid further conflict, set up a direct payment from their bank to yours each month, so that everyone knows when the repayment will be made.
When a loved one passes, the whole family can be left heartbroken by the loss. The grieving period is a time when emotions are running particularly high, and people’s feelings are extra sensitive. The reading of the will and allocation of inheritance can cause significant issues within families. Resentment, jealousy and disappointment can all rear their heads when someone doesn’t get what they feel they deserve from the will. To prevent the problem escalating and causing further damage, arranging to talk to an estate litigation lawyer is vital as they will be able to use their expert knowledge to help you get what you are entitled to.
Sibling rivalry in childhood is a common issue, but often one that resolves in time as both parties grow up and move on with their lives as adults. However, sometimes an intense sibling rivalry continues into adulthood. This can cause a lot of resentment and bitterness in the sibling relationship.
Harbouring resentment for your sibling is not helpful for either of you. In this situation, you could try talking your issues through with your sibling, to see if the problems stem from a misunderstanding or miscommunication. If this doesn’t work, and the problem persists, you will need to decide whether you can live with the bitterness and resentment, or if you want to move on. Making the decision to let go of the resentment and focus on your own life can be a truly empowering experience.